Are Dating App Algorithms Making Men Lonely and Does This Present a Public Health Concern?

This paper deals with issues revolving around heterosexual dating, which currently forms the largest marketplace in dating apps [Bandinelli C, Gandini A. Dating apps: the uncertainty of marketised love. Cultural Sociology. Jan 10, 2022;16(3):423-441. [CrossRef]1]. During the pandemic with frequent lockdowns, dating apps provided an opportunity for people to connect [Gibson AF. Exploring the impact of COVID-19 on mobile dating: critical avenues for research. Soc Personal Psychol Compass. Nov 2021;15(11):e12643. [FREE Full text] [CrossRef] [Medline]2]. In a short span of time, there was a surge in dating profiles on these apps. Just like Peloton, the home exercise machine company that found a way of appealing to users to use stationary bikes and treadmills, dating apps attracted a vast range of young adults looking for a connection or relationship, at a time when isolation and loneliness was high [Weldon M. The Time We Have: Essays on Pandemic Living. Evanston, IL. Northwestern University Press; 2024. 3].

At the start of the pandemic, the way the apps were working was quite simple. When two users accepted each other’s profile, they had a match. Browsing through and evaluating other user’s profiles was the central activity, eventually leading to an offline encounter where possible [Cummings JJ, Mays K. Trait motivational reactivity as a predictor of online dating app behavior. Computers in Human Behavior. Aug 2021;121:106775. [CrossRef]4]. Dating apps, however, slowly started to not facilitate offline encounters but rather feed into the user’s desire of accumulating matches [Bandinelli C, Bandinelli A. What does the app want? a psychoanalytic interpretation of dating apps’ libidinal economy. Psychoanal Cult Soc. Apr 19, 2021;26(2):181-198. [CrossRef]5].

Even before the pandemic, more than half of the users on dating apps reported not going on in-person dates, and this percentage was especially higher for women [Timmermans E, Courtois C. From swiping to casual sex and/or committed relationships: exploring the experiences of Tinder users. The Information Society. Mar 08, 2018;34(2):59-70. [CrossRef]6], with them looking for validation, gratification, and a boost in self-worth instead [Wimark T, Hedlund D. From individuals to emotional drones: technology-driven change in the collective conditioning of intimacy. New Media & Society. Nov 18, 2021;26(1):236-252. [CrossRef]7]. It is very likely this has worsened even further, with a large majority of users not going on in-person, offline dates [Toma CL. Online dating and psychological wellbeing: a social compensation perspective. Curr Opin Psychol. Aug 2022;46:101331. [CrossRef] [Medline]8].

Even those who are now in relationships find it hard to quit these apps—keeping them for gratification purposes [Sharabi LL, Timmermans E. Why settle when there are plenty of fish in the sea? Rusbult’s investment model applied to online dating. New Media & Society. Jul 10, 2020;23(10):2926-2946. [CrossRef]9], especially in women who accumulate matches to satisfy the need for belongingness or as a replacement for relational or sexual intimacy, getting value from social acceptance and approval [Cross SE, Madson L. Models of the self: self-construals and gender. Psychol Bull. Jul 1997;122(1):5-37. [CrossRef] [Medline]10].

In the last two years, the problem has exacerbated significantly. Women report being inundated with so many matches that it is hard from them to make a decision on choosing someone to engage with properly [Thomas MF, Binder A, Stevic A, Matthes J. 99+ Matches but a spark ain’t one: adverse psychological effects of excessive swiping on dating apps. Telematics and Informatics. Mar 2023;78:101949. [CrossRef]11]. At the same time, men are on the opposite end of the spectrum, where they get very few responses and must purchase expensive, paid features and subscriptions, which allow them to get a limited amount of priority over nonpaying members [O'Gorman K, Wilson MJ, Seidler Z. Swiping into the void: tears, fears, and motivations of young men on dating apps. In: Seilder Z, editor. Masculinities and Mental Health in Young Men. Cham, Switzerland. Palgrave Macmillan, Springer Nature; 2024:229-262.12].

Men continue to form the largest group of paid subscribers to dating apps [O'Gorman K, Wilson MJ, Seidler Z. Swiping into the void: tears, fears, and motivations of young men on dating apps. In: Seilder Z, editor. Masculinities and Mental Health in Young Men. Cham, Switzerland. Palgrave Macmillan, Springer Nature; 2024:229-262.12]. Dating apps are focused on maximizing profit activities, especially as many of them are now owned by publicly listed companies [Nickenig A. The market of love: dating economies from early modern matchmaking to Tinder. In: Schomacher E, Söffner J, editors. The Culture of Money: Implications for Contemporary Economics. London, United Kingdom. Routledge; 2024. 13]. Losing a subscriber means losing revenue, so it is conjectured that dating apps are motivated to keep their paying customers as long as they possibly can, as a successful offline encounter mediated by the dating app would lead to the loss of that subscriber [O'Gorman K, Wilson MJ, Seidler Z. Swiping into the void: tears, fears, and motivations of young men on dating apps. In: Seilder Z, editor. Masculinities and Mental Health in Young Men. Cham, Switzerland. Palgrave Macmillan, Springer Nature; 2024:229-262.12]. Unlike other social media platforms, there is no upside in successful encounters from a revenue-generating perspective. Men are also more likely to quit a dating app if they have found someone in person [O'Gorman K, Wilson MJ, Seidler Z. Swiping into the void: tears, fears, and motivations of young men on dating apps. In: Seilder Z, editor. Masculinities and Mental Health in Young Men. Cham, Switzerland. Palgrave Macmillan, Springer Nature; 2024:229-262.12].

Dating apps are like casinos in a way, in that they have to strategize where the reward needs to be—just enough to keep users coming back for more, but the reward cannot be so high that users walk away and not return, which can increase addictive behavior [Mackinnon L. Love, games and gamification: gambling and gaming as techniques of modern romantic love. Theory, Culture & Society. Mar 17, 2022;39(6):121-137. [CrossRef]14]. They have gamified the process of meeting a partner, invoking “gambler” tendencies, thus leading to behaviors that are addictive or even compulsive [Isisag A. Mobile dating apps and the intensive marketization of dating: gamification as a marketizing apparatus. In: Bagchi R, Block L, Lee L, editors. Advances in Consumer Research, Volume 47. Duluth, MN. Association for Consumer Research; 2019:135-141.15]. Now, sophisticated artificial intelligence (AI) tools are being deployed by dating apps to maximize subscriber revenue, which is potentially causing excessive harm to the psychological profiles of a large number of men and hindering the development of healthy relationships, which could become a large public health concern [Fletcher R, Tzani C, Ioannou M. The dark side of artificial intelligence – risks arising in dating applications. Assessment and Development Matters. Mar 01, 2024;16(1):17-23. [CrossRef]16]. Thus, there is both algorithmic and natural throttling of the mutual acceptance matching process on these apps, which is driving an increasing frustration in men as well as impacting their female users [Fletcher R, Tzani C, Ioannou M. The dark side of artificial intelligence – risks arising in dating applications. Assessment and Development Matters. Mar 01, 2024;16(1):17-23. [CrossRef]16].

This is the fallacy in the approach by dating app companies, as the pool of paid subscribers will eventually, and inevitably, fall as the frustration leads users to find alternative ways of finding dates.

It has become extremely important for researchers to study the psychological traits and well-being of users of dating apps [Holtzhausen N, Fitzgerald K, Thakur I, Ashley J, Rolfe M, Pit SW. Swipe-based dating applications use and its association with mental health outcomes: a cross-sectional study. BMC Psychol. Mar 04, 2020;8(1):22. [FREE Full text] [CrossRef] [Medline]17], especially with the changes and advances in algorithms and use of AI. As things stand, there are very few studies that have looked at dating app use; the algorithms being deployed by such companies; match throttling; and the associated psychological outcomes, especially in men.

There is a need for studies that move away from simply associating correlations between dating app use and psychological outcomes, including mere use associated with decreased well-being. Authors need to distinguish which specific activities, features, or experiences may be leading to undesired effects. While it may not always be possible to understand how the backend of the apps works or what algorithms may be at play, real-time testing with users could reveal basic issues revolving around authentic matching [Braithwaite S, Holt-Lunstad J. Romantic relationships and mental health. Curr Opin Psychol. Feb 2017;13:120-125. [CrossRef] [Medline]18]. The design of such studies will have to be carefully considered to ensure the cross-sectional design does not end up ruling out self-selection, that is, attracting lonely individuals and those in fear of being single [Lauckner C, Truszczynski N, Lambert D, Kottamasu V, Meherally S, Schipani-McLaughlin AM, et al. “Catfishing,” cyberbullying, and coercion: an exploration of the risks associated with dating app use among rural sexual minority males. Journal of Gay & Lesbian Mental Health. Mar 29, 2019;23(3):289-306. [CrossRef]19].

The majority of the population are reliant on dating apps to meet prospective partner, and such apps are having an impact on their mental health; these factors may very well make this into a public health concern. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s [Chin K, Edelstein R, Vernon PA. Attached to dating apps: attachment orientations and preferences for dating apps. Mobile Media & Communication. Jun 18, 2018;7(1):41-59. [CrossRef]20] Household Pulse Survey estimates that depression and anxiety are now affecting 34.2% of the population, making them the two most common mental health disorders in the United States, and to some extent, the increased numbers have been associated with dating app use [National Center for Health Statistics. Anxiety and depression. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. URL: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/covid19/pulse/mental-health.htm [accessed 2024-12-25] 21].

Some studies have linked dating apps directly with higher depression and anxiety, especially the frequency and length of use [Holtzhausen N, Fitzgerald K, Thakur I, Ashley J, Rolfe M, Pit SW. Swipe-based dating applications use and its association with mental health outcomes: a cross-sectional study. BMC Psychol. Mar 04, 2020;8(1):22. [FREE Full text] [CrossRef] [Medline]17]. Symptoms from these disorders can further impact social skills, making the formation of healthy relationships even more difficult, thus leading to a downward spiral in the populace [Braithwaite S, Holt-Lunstad J. Romantic relationships and mental health. Curr Opin Psychol. Feb 2017;13:120-125. [CrossRef] [Medline]18].

This is an urgent problem that needs regulatory action from the Western governments, where dating app algorithms should provide fair conditions to all users. Match throttling and pay-for-advantage models should be disallowed as they have a disproportionately negative impact on the health of young men.

If such action is not taken, then over time we will have a population of young, productive men who grow tired of using dating apps to find a partner and come out feeling lonely, depressed, and anxious, thus impacting in other areas of their life and their ability to be productive. Therefore, rather than helping people find partners, dating apps may be failing the very users they rely upon for their income.